Oh, Yeah. This Is Me.

I made a post imagining I had a billion pounds and six months left to live.

What came up was making weird things with good people. Laughing. Enjoying ordinary days. I recognised myself in that answer.

The holiday post did something similar. Padel, the spa, a nice coffee, dictating shit to the computer. A day that felt rich to me.

I speak the messy thought into an AI skill, and we work on it until it says what I mean. Making those pieces helped me see the thoughts more clearly.

I could read them back and think: oh, yeah. This is me.

That has been the biggest surprise of creating these little things. Hearing what I actually think, and becoming more okay with the person who thinks it.

I’d been wondering what it means to be in touch with your heart and soul.

The heart bit, to me, is allowing yourself to feel. Emotional richness. Letting life affect you.

The soul bit is living in alignment with what feels deeply true.

Maybe I’m getting better at hearing what feels true to me without immediately changing it into something other people will approve of.

And I can still listen to people. Let them affect me. Change my mind.

I can recognise the expected script. What I’m supposed to want. What sounds sensible or impressive.

Then I start talking about what I enjoy, and sometimes something quite different comes out.

I want the weird projects. I like that ordinary day. There’s a sense of recognition, and I feel a bit more comfortable saying it.

Some quiet helps. Enough for the little voice to get a word in. Talking it through gives me a way to stay with it long enough to hear what it’s saying.

The AI helps with structure and makes the thing readable. The part I care about is whether I recognise myself in what comes back. Does it say what I mean? Is this what I think, or does it just sound good?

That still leaves plenty of room for being wrong. Something feeling true to me doesn’t make it true about the world.

There’s also a trap in making these things. I can start feeling attached to being the person who said it. Then I’m defending an old paragraph when I could be finding out what I think now.

I’d like to keep the freedom to say, actually, I don’t think that any more.

But this has been one of the biggest benefits of creating these things so far. I get a little clearer about what I think, what I enjoy and how I want to spend my days.

And I’m becoming more okay with that being me.

I can’t recommend it highly enough. Get the thought out, look at it, see whether you recognise yourself in it.