Then I Asked Myself

Yesterday I had two conversations that ended up following much the same thread.

What do you actually value? What’s driving you? And based on that, what do you want?

Then, how much money do you need to experience more of those things in everyday life?

One of them said afterwards that I’d been coaching them.

I wasn’t really thinking of it like that. I was trying some shit.

From the outside, I can get quite confident about this stuff. Ask questions. Look at what’s driving someone and whether the things they want line up with it.

Then I woke up this morning and thought: wait. How clear am I on my own values?

I already had a list. About six or seven. I couldn’t even remember them all off the top of my head. And how confident was I in the order?

I wanted to simplify them. Could I get down to two or three that really mattered?

But I also wanted to check whether they actually felt like mine.

What do I value? What do I think I’m supposed to value? Am I describing my own nature, or the person I think I should become?

I wanted to spend some time with those questions myself.

Three hours later, I had four.

Playful Aliveness

Enjoy life. Laugh, explore, experiment, create and engage with what interests me, without everything needing a purpose.

Inner Peace

Meet myself and reality with acceptance and ease, without needing to eliminate difficult thoughts or feelings.

Love

Share affection, laughter, companionship and adventures. Care deeply while respecting boundaries and commitments.

Freedom

Have autonomy over my mind, time and choices, for its own sake and to live my other values.

These feel like me. They may change over time, but this is what I’ve settled on now.

I want to understand myself better. I don’t want my self-worth riding on the result.

I was quite confident asking those questions yesterday.

They took me three hours to answer.